We all have moments when our thoughts take a negative turn. But for many, these thoughts follow specific, often unconscious patterns that shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. These patterns are called cognitive distortions, and left unchallenged, they can contribute to stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and relationship problems.
At Brooklyn Center for Psychotherapy, we help clients become aware of these patterns and teach them how to challenge distorted thinking through evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). By learning to reframe how you interpret situations, you can build emotional resilience and experience more balance in your daily life.
Let’s explore the 10 most common cognitive distortions and how to start shifting them.
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Also called black-and-white thinking, this distortion shows up when we view things in extremes — something is either a total success or a complete failure, with no in-between.
Example: “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m a failure.”
Challenge It:
Ask yourself: Is there a middle ground? What parts of this went well?
Look for shades of gray and recognize that progress, not perfection, is what counts.
2. Overgeneralization
This is when one negative event is seen as part of a never-ending pattern.
Example: “I didn’t get the job — I’ll never succeed at anything.”
Challenge It:
Swap “always” and “never” with more balanced language:
“That didn’t go how I hoped, but it doesn’t mean I won’t succeed in the future.”
3. Mental Filtering
You focus only on the negative parts of a situation and ignore the positives.
Example: Your friend compliments your work, but you fixate on one small piece of criticism.
Challenge It:
List out both the positive and negative aspects of the situation.
Ask: Am I giving equal weight to all the facts?
4. Discounting the Positive
You reject positive experiences or accomplishments by insisting they “don’t count.”
Example: “They said I did a good job, but they were just being nice.”
Challenge It:
Practice accepting compliments and achievements without minimizing them.
Remind yourself: Acknowledging success doesn’t make me arrogant; it’s self-respect.
5. Jumping to Conclusions
You assume something bad will happen, even without evidence.
There are two common types:
Mind Reading: Believing you know what others are thinking.
“They probably think I’m annoying.”
Fortune Telling: Predicting the future negatively.
“I’m going to fail this presentation.”
Challenge It:
Pause and ask: What evidence do I have for this belief?
Practice staying present and resisting the urge to predict or assume.
6. Catastrophizing
You imagine the worst-case scenario and blow things out of proportion.
Example: “My partner didn’t text back; they must be done with me.”
Challenge It:
Play out the most likely scenario, not the worst outcome.
Ask: What would I tell a friend if they were in my position?
7. Emotional Reasoning
You assume something is true based solely on how you feel.
Example: “I feel anxious, so something must be wrong.”
Challenge It:
Feelings are valid, but they aren’t always facts.
Try saying: “I feel [emotion], but that doesn’t mean [catastrophic outcome] is true.”
8. “Should” Statements
You pressure yourself with rigid rules or expectations, leading to guilt, frustration, or resentment.
Example: “I should be doing better. I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Challenge It:
Replace “should” with “could” or “I’d prefer to…”
This creates flexibility and self-compassion instead of criticism.
9. Labeling
Instead of describing the error, you assign a negative label to yourself or others.
Example: “I forgot to pay that bill; I’m so stupid.”
Challenge It:
Shift from judgment to observation:
“I made a mistake, and I can fix it.”
10. Personalization and Blame
You blame yourself for things beyond your control, or you blame others without seeing your part.
Example:
“My child is struggling at school; it must be my fault.”
or
“My partner is upset; they’re always ruining things.”
Challenge It:
Ask: What role did I actually play?
Responsibility doesn’t have to mean blame, and you can only control your part.
Why This Matters
Unchecked cognitive distortions can fuel cycles of anxiety, depression, shame, and avoidance. However, the moment you become aware of these patterns, you can begin to shift them.
At Brooklyn Center for Psychotherapy, our therapists use proven techniques, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), trauma-informed approaches, and mindfulness, to help individuals:
- Recognize harmful thought patterns
- Build healthier self-talk
- Respond to stress with clarity and calm
- Reclaim a more accurate, empowering inner voice
You Deserve to Think (and Feel) Better
Challenging cognitive distortions takes time and support, but it’s a skill anyone can learn. The way you speak to yourself matters, and you don’t have to stay stuck in patterns that don’t serve you.
Ready to Reframe Your Thoughts and Feel More in Control?
We’re here to help. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, low self-esteem, or just feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts, Brooklyn Center for Psychotherapy offers compassionate, personalized care both in-person and online.
Click here to request an appointment and start working with a therapist who understands your experience and can help you rewrite the internal script.